Yesterday, I embarked on a three-month journey. As I write this, I’m in my hotel room at the Barcelo Gran Faro, in San Jose del Cabo. I can smell the ocean from my room, and watch the palm trees dance in the breeze.
I am alone, and I wanted it that way.
As some may know, I struggle with Depression/Anxiety and Narcolepsy (type 2). I typically don’t express this publicly, because I loathe the type of attention it brings. I’m an extremely private person and have an unfettered need to control the way people see me. So I decline invitations, tell everyone I’m fine, and lie with a smile on my face. God forbid anyone know I’m human.
This year has been incredibly hard for me; to the point of almost breaking. Yet, I doubt anyone really knew that. Because, I’m afraid of people knowing who I really am.
In the midst of my turmoil, I realized that I needed a break from it all. I needed to get out of Alaska and breathe the clarity you can only find from physical change.
So here I am, in Mexico, by myself.
I watched the sunrise this morning, and for the first time in a very long while, I felt hopeful. This hope inspired me to start breaking down my walls; even if the fear claws its way up my throat.
Next week, I go to Portland. After that, Los Angeles, Natchez, Atlanta, and who knows where else.
Stay tuned, I might have more to say.